Ethics in Private and Public Relationships

■ Ethics in Private and Public Relationships: 

At the heart of ethics is a concern about something or someone other than ourselves and our own desires and self-interest. Ethics is concerned with other people's interests, with the interests of society, with God's interests, with "ultimate goods", and so on. So when a person 'thinks ethically' they are giving at least some thought to something beyond themselves.
One problem with ethics is the way it's often used as a weapon. If a group believes that a particular activity is "wrong" it can then use morality as the justification for attacking those who practice that activity. When people
do this, they often see those who they regard as immoral as in some way less human or deserving of respect than themselves; sometimes with tragic consequences.Ethics is not only about the morality of particular courses of action, but it's also about the goodness of individuals and what it means to live a good life. Virtue Ethics is particularly concerned with the moral character of human beings. At times in the past some people thought that ethical problems could be solved in one of two ways:
• by discovering what God wanted people to do 
• by thinking rigorously about moral principles and problems.

If a person did this properly they would be led to the right conclusion.
But now even philosophers are less sure that it's possible to devise a satisfactory and complete theory of ethics at least not one that leads to conclusions. Modern thinkers often teach that ethics leads people not to conclusions but to 'decisions'. In this view, the role of ethics is limited to clarifying 'what's at stake' in particular ethical problems.
Philosophy can help identify the range of ethical methods, conversations and value systems that can be applied to a particular problem. But after these things have been made clear, each person must make their own individual decision as to what to do, and then react appropriately to the consequences.

-----■ The Importance of Relationships
Optimal living is impossible without harmonious human relationships. Successful social interactions are an integral part of our lives and flourishing - from the most fundamental act of our conception to the glorious interplay of a romantic union. We benefit from others' intellect by testing our reasoning against theirs; we vastly extend our knowledge, skills and productiveness by the physical and mental division of labor; we experience immense pleasure from a variety of intimate friendships; we are inspired by great artist, scientists and entrepreneurs. Effective relationships are of great benefit to us; a fact that a rational ethic must encompass.
What principles and virtues foster beneficial human interactions? The basic personal virtues of rationality, awareness, self-knowing, honesty, productiveness and integrity form a solid basis for reaping benefits from other - as they benefit from us. We prefer to deal with moral, principled people because they are productive and dependable. They represent a value, not a threat.

A uniquely social principle is that of voluntary, mutually beneficial interaction. It recognizes the merit of individuals trading value for value; not giving or taking undeservedly; not squandering value on others or defrauding them. This has elegantly been termed the Trader Principle. The principle recognizes the value of personal self-responsibility, authority and autonomy. People are individuals and can ultimately only successfully define and achieve their own goals. We cannot think for the irrational, be optimistic for the pessimist or satisfied for the discontented. We can also not make someone else feel genuine self-esteem. Yes, we can encourage others in these endeavors, but each individual must ultimately think their own thoughts, feel their own feelings, make their own decisions - live their own lives.
The Trader Principle rejects the notion that human interaction is a zero-sum game. Interactions can, and should be profitable to all parties. Exchanges that are voluntary are inherently deemed beneficial to all concerned, otherwise they would not engage in them.

This is true not only for commercial transactions, but equally - and possibly even more importantly - for primarily emotional, psychological trades: friendships. A healthy friendship is a mutually beneficial exchange of value - values such as positive character traits, skills, knowledge, intelligence, beauty and emotional support. We don't keep literal scorecards of these values traded, but once they become substantially lop-sided, the relationship suffers. One person sacrifices, the other loses independence - both undermine their self-esteem.
Understanding the potential and actual value of interacting with others on the basis of the Trader Principle encourages such virtues as justice, respect, tolerance and benevolence. Achieving successful relationships, both casual and long-term, is further enhanced by good psychological knowledge, as well as communication and social skills.This morality encourages social virtues not as 'a price to be paid' for personal security or simply 'because one should', but as a direct extension of personal virtues. Moral social interaction cannot be based on self-sacrifice sacrifice to family, society or nation. They must be based on the individuals' rational self-interest. Rational social principles foster our own optimal living - as well as that of others. It also advances diversity; yet it reduces social conflicts by providing a means of resolving them. A shared rational personal ethic forms the basis of social conduct, law and politics - conflicts are resolved using reason, not force.

Ethics in Relationships Theoretical Aspects
Relationship management has become the focus of research in recent years. While some scholars conceive of relationships as subjective realities, others view them as objective. Still others see relationships as a combination of subjective perceptions and objective qualities of relationships independent of participants.
It has been pointed out that relationships should be a multidimensional notion. Further, six dimensions of relationship state have been proposed by some: reciprocity, trust, mutual legitimacy, openness, mutual satisfaction, and mutual understanding. Others have presented five dimensions: trust, openness, involvement, investment, and commitment. However, atleast four dimensions have been widely supported: trust, commitment, satisfaction, and control mutuality
The relational dimension trust refers to “one [relational] party’s level of confidence in and willingness to open oneself to the other party”. Trust has three sub dimensions: integrity, dependability, and competence. Integrity shows one party’s belief of consistency and fairness in the other’s behaviors. Dependability describes the consistency between one’s words and behaviors. Competence indicates the extent to which one party believes the other has the ability to do what it says it will do.

The relational dimension commitment reflects “the extent to which one feels that the relationship is worth spending time and energy to maintain”. Commitment has two sub- dimensions—continuance and affective commitment. Continuance commitment relates to behavior, whereas affective commitment concerns emotions.
The relational dimension satisfaction is defined as “the extent to which one [relational] party feels favorably toward the other because positive expectations about the relationship are reinforced”. From the social exchange theory’s perspective, both relational parties (e.g., a public and its organization) are satisfied with their relationship when they achieve a balance of rewards and costs. Satisfaction measures the favorable feelings expressed by relational parties.

Control mutuality refers to “the degree to which parties agree on who has rightful power to influence one another”. Power imbalance is an important issue in control mutuality. However, power does not have to be equally distributed to maintain a stable relationship.
Personal Ethics and Professional Relationships
Professional ethics is mostly played out in the daily interactions that one has with other people. What matters most to people is the honesty of the person standing right in front of them; rather than that of Satyam Computers or Enron. How you treat the people during your regular workday sets the stage for whether or not you will crash when the inevitable personal ethical crisis comes. Your core values must match what you say to others. Here, we're not just talking about the ethical no-brainers such as lying to coworkers or stealing company funds. We're talking about whether your everyday treatment of people, from poorest person to the richest reflects the ethical values that you hold dear. In a nutshell, do you treat people right?
Why don't you sexually harass your coworker? Because you respect him or her as a person and it would be unthinkable to drag that person through the pain and torment that harassment brings. What's stopping you from taking credit for someone else's work? Because you would not want the same thing to happen to you. Why don't you take advantage of a customer's ignorance to cash in on a sale? It's because you understand that this destroys relationships and trust, which is what true success in business is built upon.

We are used to hearing about ethics from a punishment/consequences angle. Prison is not the primary reason you don't swindle your colleagues, tell casteist jokes, or wield power over weaker individuals. The reason is that there's a right and a wrong way to treat people. It's not about you, it's about them. And you don't need a corporate code of conduct to tell you.

You may wonder why a coworker becomes a heartless dictator after a promotion. Why does a normal person behave like a sexual predator when around certain people? The reason is that he or she lacks or has lost a healthy perspective on human value and dignity. Respect is what compels us to treat people right whether or not they deserve it.
Consider a situation where one human says or does something cruel to another. You may wonder how a person can do such horrible things to another person. You figure that the individual is hardened and must have no feeling or regard for others. That may be the case, or possibly the abuser was just a normal person like you who lost perspective. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget who we are talking to.
What the workplace sexual harasser and someone on trial for war crimes have in common is that they both dehumanized others. They see the object of their harassment as less than human - as "beneath" them. The act of dehumanizing others strips away another person's intrinsic value and worth. Even in a small amount, this leads to a slippery slope. Once this kind of attitude is allowed a little room to grow it can lead down a path that may "justify" the mistreatment of others.
Everyone has feelings. Everyone has hopes, dreams, ambitions, and passions. We need to view others in a spiritual dimension that goes deeper than what they look like or how much they know. There is something deeper within all of us that begs for respect and honor no matter who we are. We should treat each other as priceless human beings who have the same capacity and potential we do.
There's no reason why the person on the other side of the sales counter or the person who speaks another language isn't deserving of the same honor that you expect to have. Becoming an ethical person starts with your honest interactions with everyone. The root ethical failures in the huge things are no different from the small matters we deal with every day.